Staying on Track

Losing weight is so simple, but it is so hard! I know that sounds contradictory but it really isn't. The concept of losing weight is simple - burn more calories than you take in and you will lose weight. The process of doing this and breaking lifelong habits that have contributed to me being overweight are what are so hard. I was stuck in the 250s for quite a while and then I started going in the right direction again and got down to about 243 before getting stuck again. I stayed there for a long time, playing tug-o-war with the same five pounds. Then I found the Crown Dynasty Fitness Team on Facebook and that was the motivation I needed to get past 243 and down to 237. I was then introduced to ViSalus and the Body by Vi 90 Day Challenge. I started drinking the ViSalus shakes twice a day and got down to 226 and was feeling great about that. I stopped exercising though and gradually started letting one old habit after another back in. It didn't take long for those old carb and sugar cravings to start right back up once I let those foods cross my lips. I get so mad at myself for going backwards after feeling so good inside about making positive changes. I'm trying to look deeper this time and figure out why I make the choices I make. I'm learning that I eat for comfort and to make myself feel better when I feel lonely, sad, afraid, overwhelmed, and even happy. It's like I have a hole inside created by emotions that are uncomfortable to feel and I try to fill the hole with food. The result is feelings of shame, embarrassment, fear that someone will see how much I eat in private. I lie to myself and pretend I don't eat as much as I do but I am not fooling anyone. The proof is not only visible through the number on the scale, it is evident in the way I feel about myself. A couple of weeks ago I felt really good about myself because the number on the scale was going down. I want that number to keep going down, but I don't want my sense of self-worth to be tied only to that number. I am hoping that writing this blog will help me identify patterns in my thoughts and in my behaviors so I know where to direct my efforts. Today I am committing to the following:

• Track everything I eat and drink every day
• Exercise at least 30 minutes, 3 times per week
• Blog at least 4 times per week